Exploring the Existential Dimensions of Life — A Dialogue on Suffering, Spirituality, and the Search for Meaning
Hi Curious Souls 👋, in the recent 8th August gathering in Hong Kong, we, a diverse group of Curious Souls from different professions and areas of the world, embarked on an introspective journey of life, first exploring childhood experiences and the unspoken rules we often felt compelled to break. This then led to profound dialogues on some of life’s fundamental questions: the search for meaning, the navigation of suffering and the role of spirituality in personal growth. The evening was filled with laughter, revelations, and a shared understanding of life’s complexities, providing a nuanced perspective on these existential themes.
A Thought-Provoking Game of Question Cards
To kick off the conversation, we introduced a new icebreaker card game designed to spark discussion. Each participant picked three cards, with the option to swap if a question felt too challenging. The cards were divided into two sets, offering a mix of standard and easier questions, setting the stage for engaging dialogue.
The Rebel Within: Navigating Rules and Individuality in Childhood
As we began, one question stood out:
“As a child, what rules were made to be broken?”
This question elicited a range of responses. Many reflected on the rebelliousness of youth, recalling how they ignored parental guidance for exploration and creativity. The conversation revealed a shared sentiment that children must navigate societal expectations while preserving their imaginative spirit.
“As a child, I think the rules made to be broken were often the ones that didn’t allow for much freedom or creativity. […] I wasn’t necessarily being ‘naughty,’ but I couldn’t follow those kinds of restrictive rules.”
Embracing Individuality: One participant noted how societal norms often label those who deviate from the expected path as “abnormal.” This sparked a deeper discussion on embracing individuality and allowing children the freedom to express themselves without undue pressure. We reflected on how the desire to fit in can stifle creativity and how crucial it is for adults to nurture the unique qualities of children.
Personal Reflections: The dialogue shifted to personal stories. Some participants reminisced about their childhoods, sharing instances where they felt constrained by rules, while others spoke of the liberation they felt when they chose to break them. This led to a collective realization: the journey of finding oneself often involves breaking free from imposed limitations.
“It’s peculiar how parents will first program their kids to be curious and creative, and then when the children start asking too many questions, the parents will tell them to ‘shut up.’ There’s a disconnect there that can be really damaging.”
The group acknowledged the complex dynamics that often arise between children and their caregivers, recognizing the need for a more balanced and democratic approach that respects the inherent autonomy and individuality of young minds.
What Brings a Sense of Vitality and Fulfillment?
The dialogue then shifted to another thought-provoking question:
“When do you feel most alive?
Participants offered varied responses, showcasing the diversity of experiences that bring joy and fulfillment. Some felt most alive in moments of connection with friends and family, while others found vitality in physical activities like hiking or yoga.
“Exercises like yoga and high-intensity workouts makes me feel more alive. There’s just this incredible sense of vitality and excitement, especially at the end of a really tough workout.”
One participant described the exhilaration of completing a challenging hike, feeling a profound sense of accomplishment and a deeper connection to nature. Another shared how volunteering and helping others made them feel energized, emphasizing the joy found in service and community engagement. These reflections highlighted that feeling alive often comes from engaging in activities that resonate with our true selves.
“I feel most alive when I’m being productive and doing all the things I’m supposed to do. I don’t like to waste time — I want to make the most of my day, whether it’s with work, family, or my personal interests. That sense of purpose and accomplishment is what really energizes me.”
The group recognized the diversity of ways in which individuals may experience a sense of aliveness, from physical exertion to the fulfillment of personal goals and responsibilities.
Exploring the Meaning of Life: A Journey of Self-Discovery
Moving on to the Bring-Your-Own-Question session, the second section of the event, the discussion began with one participant openly sharing her quest to uncover life’s meaning:
“Have you found the meaning of your life?”
The participant recounted a recent encounter at a local bookstore, where she had come across a tome dedicated to this very topic. Though she had not purchased the book, the experience had sparked a deeper contemplation within her. She questioned whether meaning is just about family and career or if there’s a deeper purpose, setting the stage for a deeply personal exploration:
“Is the meaning of life just about family and career? Is there something more, some deeper purpose that is missing?”
Questioning the Conventional Narratives: The participant’s words resonated with the group, who acknowledged the limited nature of societal narratives surrounding the meaning of life. This sentiment highlighted the group’s collective awareness that the prevailing cultural scripts — which often equate personal fulfillment with professional success and familial obligations — may not fully capture the nuances and complexities of the human experience.
“The meaning of life can be big and small for everyone, but the bottom line should be making yourself happy and content.”
The Subjective Nature of Meaning: The group responded with empathy and understanding, acknowledging the highly subjective nature of this search. One participant suggested that finding meaning might be as simple as being true to oneself, making decisions based on personal beliefs rather than fear or social conformity.
Embracing the Diversity of Perspectives: The conversation highlighted the diverse ways in which individuals may approach the question of meaning, with each person’s perspective shaped by their unique life experiences, values, and personal beliefs. The friends recognized the importance of respecting and honoring these differences, rather than imposing a singular definition of what constitutes a meaningful life: “There’s no right or wrong — what matters most is what we truly think, rather than what others say the meaning of life should be.”
Exploring the Notion of Purpose: As the discussion progressed, the group delved deeper into the concept of purpose and its relationship to the meaning of life. One participant shared their evolving perspective:
“The meaning of life isn’t necessarily about finding some grand, overarching purpose. Maybe it’s just about making the best of each day, seizing opportunities, and finding fulfillment in the smaller, everyday moments. It doesn’t have to be something as lofty as saving the world — it can be as simple as being present and content with who you are.”
The participant pondered that meaning might lie in appreciating everyday moments rather than seeking a grand purpose. This suggestion resonated with the group, who acknowledged the value in cultivating a sense of purpose and meaning through the thoughtful engagement with one’s daily life, rather than solely pursuing externally defined markers of success or significance.
Navigating Suffering: Finding Strength in Self-Compassion and Acceptance
The discussion then pivoted to the daunting challenge of overcoming suffering:
“How to overcome sufferings?”
Indeed, suffering seems to be a universal human experience that had clearly touched the lives of those gathered.
“The only way to get out of suffering is to pass through it, accept it, and have faith. Find your own truth.”
Embracing Acceptance and Faith: Several participants emphasized the importance of acceptance and embracing one’s experiences, both positive and negative. This sentiment underscored the group’s belief that true healing and growth can only come through a willingness to confront and work through one’s suffering, rather than attempting to avoid or suppress it. The participants recognized that by embracing and accepting the pain and challenges they faced, they could ultimately find a path towards inner peace and transformation.
“You can’t expect unconditional love from others, but you can always love yourself unconditionally. That’s the key to overcoming suffering.”
The Power of Self-Compassion and Forgiveness: Other participants delved deeper, noting the tendency for some people to become mired in past traumas, allowing them to continue suffering in the present. They shared their belief that the key to healing lies in self-love and forgiveness — not just towards others, but crucially, towards oneself; unconditional self-compassion is a powerful antidote to pain, whereas harboring resentment towards others ultimately only harms oneself.
Exploring the Complexities of Emotional Imbalances: The group also explored the complex role of emotional imbalances and depression in perpetuating ongoing suffering. They acknowledged the nuanced interplay between psychological and physiological factors, recognizing that some individuals’ struggles extend beyond the realm of past traumas, thereby requiring a multifaceted approach to address these deeply rooted challenges: “It’s a complex issue that requires a delicate touch.”
The Importance of Nuance and Empathy: The participants recognized the need for a compassionate and nuanced understanding of those who struggle with emotional difficulties or become trapped in the cycle of suffering. They emphasized the importance of approaching these issues with empathy, rather than judgment or oversimplification.
Cultivating a Balanced Perspective: The friends acknowledged the value in acknowledging the transient nature of human experience, recognizing that both the good and the bad will eventually pass.
“Everything in life is running on a timeline, always progressing forward. We are all driven by time and we are just like a product of time. It’s all temporary, whether it’s suffering or happiness.”
The group embraced the temporary nature of both joy and pain, and advocated finding one’s own path to meaning and fulfillment. This realization, they believed, can help individuals maintain a more balanced and resilient perspective as they navigate the ups and downs of life.
Spiritual Growth — Exploring Spirituality and Its Role in Personal Growth
The conversation then turned to the topic of spirituality and its potential role in navigating the challenges of life.
One participant stated that ‘the greater the suffering, the greater the pain, the greater the enlightenment.’ However, he added that he does not recommend seeking out pain. This could be because a lifestyle centered around such intense suffering, while potentially fostering spiritual growth, may not be suitable for everyone in ordinary circumstances.
Another participant shared their perspective, drawing upon the principles of mindfulness and living in the present moment.
“When you’re truly in the moment, whether it’s eating, engaging in a meaningful conversation, or playing music, that’s when you feel the most alive. You’re not burdened by negativity or resistance to anything — you’re just fully present and focused on the experience at hand.”
This sentiment echoed the group’s earlier discussion about the importance of embracing the temporary nature of both joy and suffering, and the value in maintaining a balanced perspective.
Book Recommendations on Spirituality
Another friend elaborated on this idea, referencing the work of spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle’s books “The Power of Now” and his more practical variation, “Practicing the Power of Now.”
According to her, Tolle talks about the power of living in the present moment and not getting caught up in the past or worrying about the future.
“It’s about finding that sense of connection and integration with your surroundings, whether it’s with people, nature, or work. That’s what he calls ‘yoga’ — the true integration of the self with the world around you.”
The conversation then shifted to the topic of the book series “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsch. One participant shared his familiarity with the work, noting its influence on their own spiritual journey. He read ‘Conversations with God’ a while back, and it really resonated with him. According to him, the author, Neale Donald Walsch, was actually homeless at one point, and he had this profound spiritual awakening that led him to write the book.
The friend went on to explain that the book explores the idea of a direct dialogue between the author and the divine, offering a unique perspective on the nature of spirituality and our relationship with the higher power. As such, it’s not a traditional religious text, but more of a personal exploration of what it means to find meaning and purpose in life. Walsch emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment and not getting caught up in the past or the future.
Spirituality and Religion
The friend also noted the distinction between spirituality and religion, emphasizing that the former is not necessarily tied to any particular belief system or institutional structure.
“Spirituality is much bigger than religion. It’s not about the rules and dogmas created by human beings, but about the exploration of our own essence and our place in the universe. It’s about finding your own truth, rather than adhering to someone else’s.”
This distinction resonated with some of the participants, who acknowledged the value in seeking personal meaning and growth outside the confines of traditional religious institutions.
Another friend, who is more familiar with Christianity, offered her unique insights on areas where misunderstandings were observed, supporting the religion neutrally and contributing to a balanced discussion between spirituality and religion.
All in all, the group acknowledged the diversity of religious, spiritual and philosophical perspectives available, recognizing that each individual may find solace and guidance in different teachings and practices, which provide frameworks and tools for navigating the complexities of life, cultivating self-awareness, acceptance, and a sense of connection.
Unpacking the Acronyms of HAPPINESS and SAD
As the conversation continued, two participants introduced an intriguing perspective on the nature of happiness and suffering using acronyms to unpack these complex concepts.
One of the participants first thought about the word ‘happiness,’ and how it could be broken down into an acronym: H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S, each letter representing an important aspect of living a fulfilling life.
The friend then proceeded to share their interpretation of the acronym:
H — Happiness could be simple
A — Ask for less
P — Pray for more
P — Purify one’s soul
I — Inspire one’s mind
N — Nurture more love
E — Express more feelings
S — Sharing is the path
S — Search no more
Intrigued, another friend creatively chimed in with a related perspective, this time using the word “SAD” as a starting point:
S — Soulful
A — Accept everyday
D — Delightful
"Now we are whole, as in the yin-yang symbol (sadness and happiness)."
This innovative approach to deconstructing the concepts of happiness and suffering resonated with the group, who recognized the value in exploring the nuances and underlying components of these complex human experiences.
The friends acknowledged the potential for these acronyms to serve as helpful frameworks for self-reflection and personal growth, providing a structured way to examine the various factors that contribute to our overall well-being and inner peace.
Conclusion
This thought-provoking discussion underscored the deeply personal and multifaceted nature of the search for meaning and the journey to overcome life’s challenges. By sharing their experiences and perspectives, the friends in this conversation offered invaluable insights that can inspire others to embark on their own introspective exploration, as they navigate the twists and turns of the human experience.
In a world often consumed by the pursuit of material wealth and social status, this dialogue serves as a powerful reminder that the true treasures in life lie in the depths of our inner landscapes — the profound questions we grapple with, the lessons we learn from our suffering, and the meaning we cultivate through our lived experiences. As we continue to traverse the winding path of our own lives, may we find solace, wisdom, and a renewed sense of purpose in the shared humanity that binds us all. 😊
Join us at the next Curious Souls Café gathering for more deep and meaningful conversations. Together, we can explore the questions that shape our lives and find new ways to grow and thrive.