Unpacking Life’s Big Questions at the First Curious Souls Café Meetup in Kuala Lumpur
Recently, we had the privilege of hosting the very first Curious Souls Cafe meetup in Kuala Lumpur on January 11, 2025. This wasn’t your average coffee shop conversation; it was a thoughtfully designed space for exploring life’s profound questions through open and honest dialogue, rediscovering how to make life meaningful.
The event unfolded in two distinct phases: the first round used pre-selected prompts to spark discussion, while the second round invited participants to share their own questions. What emerged was a tapestry of diverse perspectives, heartfelt honesty, and insightful revelations. For the first time, we addressed every single question brought forward by four participants — a milestone for our community. Let’s dive into the highlights of this transformative experience.
Round 1: Navigating Curated Questions
The opening round featured a series of pre-selected questions, carefully designed to inspire self-reflection and meaningful dialogue. Here’s a closer look at the topics and the collective wisdom they uncovered:
1. Overcoming Obstacles
“What would it take to remove the biggest obstacle between you and your goals?”
This question led to deep introspection. Participants identified self-doubt and social anxiety as some of the barriers they often face. One individual shared how he sometimes feels the need to mentally prepare, even to meet close friends, while others spoke about procrastination and the struggle to take action until the very last moment.
A recurring theme was the power of “baby steps” — breaking overwhelming tasks into smaller, manageable actions. One participant noted that even “showing up” to the meetup was a significant first step for them, a conscious effort to step out of their comfort zone. The group collectively agreed that taking small, consistent steps can be a meaningful way to overcome challenges.
2. Humor vs. Intelligence
“Would you rather be the funniest or the smartest person in the room?”
At first glance, this question seemed lighthearted, but it quickly sparked a rich discussion about the value of humor, intelligence, and authenticity. One participant expressed the desire to be both the smartest and the kindest person in the room, emphasizing the importance of using intelligence to help others with compassion.
Another participant reflected on past attempts to be both funny and smart, only to realize that neither resonated with their true self. They shared how aligning with one’s core values and being authentic trumps the need to impress others. Some participants chose humor for its ability to break barriers and reduce stress, while others leaned toward intelligence as a means to create meaningful change. Humility and staying true to oneself emerged as guiding principles for personal growth, especially for our facilitator.
3. Addressing Recurring Patterns
“What mistake do you keep making over and over again?”
This question opened up an opportunity for self-awareness and reflection. One participant from India shared how she often prioritizes others’ needs over her own, a habit shaped by cultural expectations. Participants emphasized the importance of balancing community responsibilities with self-care.
Another participant mentioned how he sometimes becomes complacent in relationships, unintentionally neglecting friendships as a result of getting too comfortable with a partner. The group emphasized the value of mindfulness — both in being kind to oneself and in avoiding overly harsh self-criticism. As one participant wisely put it, “Being kind to yourself is a habit worth cultivating.”
The group emphasized the need for mindfulness — both in treating oneself kindly and in avoiding harsh self-judgment. As one participant put it, “Being kind to yourself is a habit worth cultivating.”
4. Managing Anger
“How easy is it for you to lose your temper, and why?”
The discussion around anger revealed a spectrum of experiences. Some participants confessed to suppressing their anger to avoid conflict, while others spoke about struggling to control outbursts.
One participant shared how kickboxing serves as a healthy outlet for frustration, while the facilitator highlighted the importance of reframing situations to view them from another’s perspective. The idea of cultivating compassion — both for oneself and others — emerged as a powerful tool for managing anger. A particularly striking insight came from someone who observed that bottling up emotions can lead to physical and emotional stress.
Round 2: Delving into Self-Generated Questions
The second round gave participants the opportunity to bring their own questions, leading to deeply personal and thought-provoking conversations. The ones with more votes were discussed first.
1. The Purpose of Soul-Searching
“Why do people go soul searching? Does it actually help?”
This question sparked a rich dialogue about the nature of soul-searching and the quest for meaning. Participants noted that while travel can often serve as a catalyst for self-discovery, true transformation is an internal journey.
The group agreed that self-love is a foundational element of happiness, and external achievements like money or career success can never fully fill an inner void. One participant shared his experience with a multi-day silent retreat, where he became acutely aware of his own thoughts and emotions. The importance of embracing solitude and being at peace with oneself was a recurring theme.
2. Facing Mortality
“Are you afraid of death? Why or why not?”
This question opened the door to diverse cultural perspectives on mortality. One participant viewed death as a natural transition, even a celebration of a new beginning, while others admitted to fears of pain and the unknown.
Our facilitator pointed out that, just as we aren’t afraid of being born, we might not need to fear death either. Others noted that the fear of death can motivate us to live life more fully. The conversation highlighted how different cultures approach the topic of death, with some avoiding it altogether while others embrace it as a reminder of life’s impermanence.
3. Meaningful 2024 Experiences
“What was the most meaningful experience from 2024 that you’d like to carry into 2025?”
This question prompted participants to reflect on key moments of growth. Highlights included beginning therapy, competing in weightlifting, and starting new relationships. For our facilitator, it would be hosting events globally, like Curious Souls Cafe, as he works as a digital nomad. Several participants shared how these experiences taught them the value of boundaries, self-discovery, and stepping outside their comfort zones.
A powerful takeaway was the collective commitment to openness — to new experiences, challenges, and personal growth.
4. Self-Discovery: Strengths and Weaknesses
“Who am I, or who are you? Strengths and weaknesses?”
This timeless question led to a profound discussion about self-awareness and identity. One participant noted that knowing oneself is an ongoing process, and anyone who feels they’ve fully figured themselves out might be missing opportunities for growth.
The group agreed that asking this question regularly can uncover new layers of understanding. One participant shared how he is working to better understand his emotions and find more peace in his daily lives.
Final Reflections
This Curious Souls Cafe episode was far more than just a meetup; it was a safe space for connection, reflection, and growth. It reminded us of our shared humanity and the value of coming together to explore life’s big questions. Key themes from the event included kindness, mindfulness, self-love, and the courage to step outside our comfort zones.
Participants expressed gratitude for the opportunity to share their stories and hear others’ perspectives. For many, this was their first meetup experience, and they left inspired to continue their journey of self-discovery. The facilitator appreciated addressing all questions and the sincerity of the discussion.
As we wrapped up, many participants stayed connected and shared resources through a new regional-specific WhatsApp group, ensuring that the conversations — and the connections — would continue. (For example, we shared a lot of resources like books in our collaborative workbook.) This first meetup in Kuala Lumpur was just the beginning, and we can’t wait to see where this journey takes us next.